My 30s have welcomed with me open arms and back handed me once I entered. It’s like my body is going one way and my mind is going another way. I’m 32, but these few years in my 30s have taught me a few important things:
My body responds to stress much differently in my 30s
A few months ago I got Shingles! Yes, at 32 years old, I got shingles, an uncomfortable, painful rash that shows up randomly on various parts of your body secondary to having a history of chicken pox when I was younger. Two seconds with the doctor and she diagnosed me, and then asked, had I been stressed out lately. I told her yes, and she immediately attributed it to my breakout.
It’s completely ok to say “No”
I may be late on learning this motto, but honey, I got it! No is a complete sentence that I don’t have to explain. And the scary part is, I tried it out on my parents and it worked too! I love them with all of my heart, but family and friends especially need the word “no” every once and while, a few times, heck, a lot of the times! It brings peace and less stress to your life. You have my permission to try it out! No charge!
Counseling is healthy and a MUST
If you’ve been following me for a while, you know I went to counseling for the first time when I was 30 and it was one of the best things I ever experienced. The peace and the unbias advice, comfort, concern, tools and tactics I received to keep going and pushing through my issues in relationships was priceless. I’ve made it a goal to go at least once a year and I’m a better Kristin because of it.
Self-care routines are necessary
Maybe I was a man in former life or I’m just plain lazy, but skin and hair routines are not my thing. I liked to get up and go. Splash some water on my face and keep it moving. Well, my body, face, and hair no longer runs off of random spurts of various products and trials. I need a routine for my face, hair, and skin. I recently started a 30-day self challenge. I am drinking nothing but water, washing my face twice a day with Clean and Clear and a facial scrub, and massaging black castor oil on my edges 2-3 times a day. I’m about to get my whole body snatched, head to toe!
Having a team of doctors is crucial
Now this may sound bad, but I’m a healthcare professional who does not like to go to the doctor. Give me some orange juice, water and rest, and I’ll be just fine. I hate taking pills because doctors be trying to get you! But lately, simply going to the urgent care for a check up is not getting it. My body requires a bit more tender loving care as I get older. I realize I need doctors in various specialities who know me and my body. I recently found a gynecologist I love, and she referred me to a great primary care physician and a dermatologist, all black women! My team is about to be on fleek!
Going and doing things on my own is NOT taboo
Listen! When I was younger, I’d ask everyone if they wanted to go somewhere and wait, and wait, eventually missing out on life because others couldn’t make up their mind or get their money in order. Not anymore! I buy tickets and ask questions later. I refuse to miss out on events, opportunities, and travel because others can’t make it. It’s less drama when you’re by yourself anyway, and I’ve met some amazing people traveling alone.
I MUST write things down in my calendar or it won’t happen
I’m not claiming a bad mind or poor memory, but I recognize that a calendar is necessary. Life has become a bit more full as I’ve gotten older, with appointments, meetings, blog stuff, dating, life, etc. So it’s crucial that I write down EVERYTHING in my calendar, even down to when to call someone to simply check in! I also struggled with over booking myself at times because I didn’t know how to say no and wanted to please everyone, but I got free from that. Oh, look, I’m already booked; can’t make it, sorry! Google calendar has been my best friend! Those reminders are life to me!
Some guys still don’t know what they want after 30
I love to give guys the benefit of the doubt, and I use to be really open in an attempt to work with a brother. But in my 30s, boy bye! You’d think as we all get older, we’d all migrate to that settling down, family/marriage stage and be on the same page. Not so! I’ve met so many men who honestly like to continue “doing them”, dating multiple women, having various options. It baffled me for a minute, but then I realized, I didn’t have to put up with it and they were not the one for me, next!
I choose quality over quantity when it comes to friendships
I’ve never been one to have a large group of friends, just numerous associates and acquaintances. I held friendship in high regard and struggled to accept flaws, although I knew I wasn’t perfect. But as I’ve gotten older, I see the importance of quality friendships. Friendships that test over time. Friendships that aren’t perfect, but perfect for me. I truly seek God on my circle these days and re-evaluate friendships as needed. I’ve got some friends who are a bit flighty and work my nerves, as I’m sure I do theirs. But they are loyal, supportive, and can pray me through. You can’t beat that if you tried.
I LOVE me!
It’s been a journey, but I can honestly say I truly love me. Although my edges are leaving me, my skin has been going crazy, and I might be gaining a little bit of weight, I love me! I’m ok with not being invited to the party, or stressed out about who doesn’t like me, because I love me. I’m actually a great person. I’m actually really funny, witty, and caring. I will pray you through some things and check you at the same time. I love God. I’m determined to succeed and the best is yet to come!
This is just a list I could think at the time, but there is so much more I’m learning. What have you learned or are learning in your 30s?