“You watch Power?,” I asked as we conducted our weekly father/daughter check-in sessions.
Little did I know, we’d both only watched one episode and it happened to be the one when Ghost was scheduled to be released from jail, but not before poor Charlie Murphy’s face was splattered all over the gym floor. I wasn’t ready! And I really wasn’t ready for the explicit sex scene that lasted approximately 3 whole minutes! Not that I was timing it or anything.
I wasn’t sure whether to close my eyes, leave the room, or simply tell my friend to turn the channel. Not because I was so naive and had never seen a naked body before, let alone in the sexual positions demonstrated, but it was just the opposite.
Although I’ve strived to be celibate and abstain from sexual pleasure, I have fallen short at times and that scene awakened thoughts to which I’m working to abstain from, so what do I do?
As a single, Christian woman who is striving for celibacy, sex is everywhere, particularly in my favorite shows. Although I hadn’t jumped on the “Power” bandwagon, I’m absolutely an “Insecure,” “Ballers,” and “Being Mary Jane” fan. Three shows who don’t slack on giving at least one sexual scene an episode and they only seem to get more explicit as the seasons progress! Killing me!
I watch Insecure and Being Mary Jane because I can relate. They tell my story. I’ve been Issa, Molly, and Mary Jane: awkward, black, seeking love and validation, all while trying to exude strength that many times you don’t have.
So do you abstain from watching all television shows and stick to re-run episodes of A Different World and Living Single to keep your mind right and holiness in tact? Or do you keep watching your favorite shows, praying that God keeps you?
The truth of the matter is, there is no escaping the ever-growing overly sexed culture that we encounter today. Even commercials have become sexually explicit, feeding into our fleshly desires simply to sell a bottle of shampoo.
Many times we convince ourselves that we’re stronger than we really are when it comes to self-control and discipline in certain areas, particularly as single persons. But the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 10:13, “no temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind…”
Temptations will come from all directions, according to your personal struggle or downfall. But
acknowledging your weaknesses and making adjustments to create boundaries is a sure sign of maturity and growth.
1 Corinthians chapter 10 goes on to say in verse 13, “…he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”
So here are three ways in which you can escape the temptation:
Assess your mood and emotions before watching the show
It’s good to take an inventory of how you’re feeling that day. Are you feeling lonely or a bit frisky? Know how you feel before exposing yourself to a temptation that you are not prepared to handle or overcome. These sex scenes can absolutely trigger old feelings and emotions that you thought were buried or controlled. Wisdom says, to watch at another time to keep from making a phone call after the episode is over.
Watch with a friend that is willing to keep you accountable
These shows are always great to watch with friends because it’s much more fun than simply talking to the television by yourself. But it’s also a way to have healthy conversation about the scenes and how you’re feeling. But most importantly, having an accountability partner who can make sure you go directly home and not over Tyrone’s house after its over. Or to pray with you if needed.
Be ok with missing an episode or excusing yourself on sexual scenes
There is absolutely nothing wrong with excusing yourself when a sexual scene comes on or simply not watching the show at all. You know yourself and you’re still cool to me. It’s called boundaries.
Matthew 6:22 says, “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light.”
It’s important to guard our eye and ear gates because they are the avenues in which things enter our mind and heart. If we continue to watch and listen to any and everything around us, the scripture continues in verse 23 by saying, “but if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.” We may not notice it immediately, but the more we expose ourselves to things that are not pleasing to the Holy Spirit inside of us, the more our spirt will grieve, our minds will be altered, and our hearts will be tainted.
It may seem like just another show to some and not that serious to others. Sexual sin is not everyone’s struggle or concern, i.e. my married folks, but the struggle is real nonetheless. For the single saints, I just want us to keep it right, keep it tight, until that wedding night! I’m on Day 14 of my dating fast! (See previous post) I’ll pray for you as you pray for me!