As he shared his family history and what he was looking for in a mate, all I could think about was reading my bible! Seriously, reading the Bible! At that moment I realized, I’m over it! I was feeling him, but I wasn’t. He was cool, but he was number four in my line up of dating this summer. Yes, I’ve been out quite often this summer and I’ve enjoyed every bit of it. I’ve stayed “marriage minded,” but it’s been the same ole’, same ole’. I seriously just wanted to read my Bible. And in the words of Auntie Maxine Waters, I needed to “Reclaim my time!!!”
One of my many goals for the year was to read the entire bible in one year and I was behind. Mainly because I allowed various distractions (i.e. “Good morning” text messages and phone calls) and laziness to keep me from my goals. My focus was beginning to shift.
I didn’t want to continue to hear how great I was, how amazing I am, and still be left with disappointment. Because honestly, the question that loomed in the back of my mind, “Is he the one?” was usually answered by the first phone conversation or date. God doesn’t take long to speak, we just take too long to respond and move on.God doesn’t take long to speak, we just take too long to respond and move on. Click To Tweet
I have seasons of “Just you and me Jesus.” And then I have seasons of “Where’s my Boaz, Jesus.” It fluctuates at times.
And honestly I like to date! I like to go out with different people getting to know different folks. I’m a people person to my core and I love hanging out. I returned back to the infamous online dating sites as well as allowing a friend to hook me up and I’ve met some great guys. I’ve yet to have a bad experience, but I’ve definitely got stories to tell. (Look out for later blog post on those!)
But you ever feel like, “if I can just reach this one goal or complete this one task I know something is about to break!? I know God is about to open a door, a window, or a garage for me? Something is attached to the goals I’ve set and I must get it done.
That’s where I’m at right now. But then there this whole “single life,” “single wife” thing going on that lingers in the back of my mind as I pursue these goals. I’d love to have a partner to pursue goals with, or at least someone to cuddle on the couch with while watching “Power” or “Insecure,” after a long day of work, but its just not panning out that way.
Although dating is not a bad thing, and I repeat, dating is NOT a bad thing, I needed to slow my role and God said fast. I wasn’t looking to force anything or rush God; kind of, sort of, maybe… but right now, God simply desires this time for me and Him, hence, my 90 Day Dating Fast has begun.
On this fast I will abstain from going out on dates as well as not giving my number to anyone for 90 days. Now this may seem very shallow and simplistic to some, or maybe even too deep for others, but it’s what I needed for me, and it’s what God urged me to do, and obedience is better than sacrifice.
I’m praying this fast will:
1) Bring clarity and focus to my goals and desires
2) Allow time to complete tasks and goals that I’ve set
3) Reaffirm who I am in God and my value to Him and myself
4) Reveal the next steps for my future moving forward
5) Reclaim my time that I’ve allowed others to waste
Am I expecting a husband after the fast is over? The Lord can do the impossible, but no. It really isn’t about finding a husband, but completely finding me.
As much as I know myself to be a wife, I was dating like a girlfriend, or at least demonstrating girlfriend tendencies. I tend to give my phone number out to those who ask, not being as selective as I should, blaming it on my attempt to be “open,” but really being rooted in a fear of being alone, desire for companionship, and a subconscious lapse in self-worth and esteem.
I’m a wife, but not everyone’s wife. Dating has allowed me to see what I desire and deserve and what I don’t. So now it’s time to take a step back and reclaim confidence in who and what God has called me to be, and therefore be able to manifest that through actions whenever God allows me to return to the dating scene.
I have two friends on deck to keep me accountable and I’m excited about what God is going to do during this time.
During this fast I’m also doing a 40-Day Prayer Challenge using the book “Draw the Circle” by Mark Batterson . I’d love for you to join me! The challenge starts Tuesday, August 1, 2017 and it will be an amazing journey to see God move in mind-blowing ways as well as strengthen our prayer and communication with God!